Breathe Me
by rizzles-4-lyf
Summary: Maura is done hiding her feelings! Rizzles one shot!


"Hi." Mauras voice was shaky as she entered her best friends bedroom, catching the dark haired woman completely off guard. Janes eyes widened as she placed the book she was reading down onto her nightstand.

"I didn't even hear you come in." Jane frowned, completely aware that it very easily could have been a murderer or thief instead of her best friend who had entered her house without her having any clue. Maura swallowed the lump in her throat as she walked over to her friend, sitting beside her, so close she could smell Janes strawberry shampoo.

"I'm not doing this anymore." Maura confessed, looking her best friend directly in the eye. Janes head tilted slightly to the left as Maura took both of Janes hands in her own. "I am not doing this anymore." Maura repeated, slower this time as she bought one of Janes hands to her face, her eyes closing as Janes fingertips softly stroked her cheek.

"Maura…" Janes voice was quiet as she gave her friend a silent warning, begging her not to continue with what she was about to say. Jane knew this was it. This was the make or break moment of their friendship, and no amount of warning or awareness would have prepared her for this.

"I have loved you for three years." Maura started, Janes eyes closing as she took in her best friends words. "I have watched you fall in love, I've watched you get your heart broken." Jane frowned at her words, knowing exactly who she was talking about when she spoke. "I've watched you get engaged." Mauras breath hitched in her throat, the feeling in her chest that she felt when she saw Janes engagement ring for the first time returning. "I've watched you tell me you are pregnant." Maura stopped now, letting Jane fully ingest all that she's just laid onto her. "I have watched you lose a baby." She whispered, her grip on Janes hand tightening as Jane shifted uncomfortably.

"You're about to ruin the best thing that's ever happened to me." Jane told her, looking down at their hands. She fiddled with Mauras fingers for a few seconds before she pulled her hands away completely. Maura frowned, completely bewildered by Janes reaction.

"You've always known how I feel about you." They both knew Maura was right, and Jane couldn't help but feel a shot of guilt shoot through her. "And I know how you feel about me." Maura added, Janes eyes shooting up suddenly to meet hers.

"What are you talking about?" Jane asked, her voice not as quiet as before as she moved away from Maura slightly. Maura sighed, running a hand through her honey blonde locks.

"It's me sitting here, just me, there is no one else here." Maura pointed out, looking around the room as she spoke. "I need you to stop being so scared of me, Jane." Janes eyes were wide as she tried to think of an appropriate response.

"I have nothing to be scared of." Jane said, shrugging, trying to keep the mood as light as possible.

"Exactly. So why have we been pretending this isn't happening for THREE years?" Maura asked, her eyes never leaving Janes. Jane sat silently, thinking through all the things she could say, and choosing very careful what she said next.

"Because I don't want to be with you." Jane's words would have hit Maura hard if she hadn't known that she was lying. She sighed in frustration, shaking her head at Jane. Maura sighed, shuffling until Jane had nowhere to go, her back pressed against the headboard of her bed.

"Then tell me to stop." Maura told her simply as she leant forward, her hands scrunching the sheet under her fingers as she pressed her lips against Janes. The kiss was soft. There was nothing sexual or desperate about the kiss. It was sweet, innocent. The kiss told Maura more than Janes words ever could as Janes head turned to the side, deepening their kiss. Jane pulled back slowly, licking her lips with a frown on her face.

"Have you been drinking?" She quizzed, noting the slight taste of beer that lingered on Mauras lips. Maura rolled her eyes at Janes question.

"After three years, I needed a beer to give me the push to do this. Sue me." Maura whispered, looking down at her hands now. Jane nodded, licking her lips discretely again to savour the taste of Maura.

"I don't think I can do this." Jane said, her fingers playing with a lock of Mauras hair for a few seconds before her hand fell into her lap, her eyes meeting Mauras. "I love you, Maura. And I won't do anything that will ever take you away from me." Maura instinctively frowned at her friends words.

"How is engaging in a romantic relationship with me taking you away from me?" Jane couldn't help but smile slightly at her naive friend.

"What happens when we break up?" Jane asked; her expression serious suddenly.

"Who says we are going to break up?" Maura asked, mirroring Janes serious voice and facial expression. Jane took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut as her brain scrambled to find a way out of the situation she had found herself in. She was happy before this conversation ever took place; she was comfortable.

"Kiss me again." Jane whispered, opening her eyes to meet Mauras. Maura didn't say a word as she leant forward, capturing Janes lips in another soft kiss. The kiss went a lot longer than the last one, and Maura was caught off guard when she felt Janes tongue trace her bottom lip lightly. "Do you love me?" Jane whispered as she pulled back, resting her forehead against Mauras, her hand shyly resting on Mauras thighs.

"I love you." Maura replied simply before Jane went back to kissing her lips, her hands pulling at the hem of Mauras shirt, Mauras eyes widening as she lifted it over her head, tossing it onto the floor. Jane quickly disposed of her own shirt before she moved over, making room for Maura in the bed.

"Hold me." Jane instructed, Maura not hesitated to slide under the blanket beside her. Jane moved to rest her head on Mauras chest as her best friends arms rested around her shoulders, holding her close against her bare skin. "I just want to feel you warm and close." Jane whispered, nuzzling her nose into Mauras neck, making the blonde woman giggle quietly.

"I've always been right here." Maura whispered in response to Janes words. She heard her best friend sigh quietly against her neck, the feeling of her breath on her skin giving her butterflies like never before.

Maura had held Jane like this before. They had spooned and cuddled more than once after long, exhausting days at work, and it wasn't rare for either of the women to wake up in the others bed. This was, however, the first time Mauras fingers lightly traced Janes shoulder blades, and it was definitely the first time Maura had held her best friend without a shirt on. Janes skin was cold, and Maura could easily feel all of her friends muscles. She wasn't curvy; she was pure muscle and it felt strangely nice to Maura.

"Have you been in love with a woman before?" Janes quiet voice asked in the darkness, catching the blonde woman off guard.

"No." Maura responded honestly. "You're the first person I've ever really been in love with." The second the words left her mouth, she knew they were too strong. There was too much pressure and weight behind those words. "The first woman, I mean." She corrected herself, feeling Jane surprisingly giggle underneath her arms.

"What happens in the morning?" Jane asked, bringing one of her hands up to Mauras chest, lightly playing with the lace on her bra. There was nothing sexual or suggestive about her actions. Maura smiled down at her, noting how natural and easy it felt having Jane this close to her.

"We get up, we shower, we cook breakfast and we go to work." Maura responded casually. "Then you come home and I will be here cooking you dinner." She felt Jane smile against her, and she couldn't fight the smile that came onto her lips.

"Unless we have a case." Jane added with a sigh.

"Nope. Even then I'll make time to make you dinner." Maura whispered, pressing her lips to the top of Janes head.

"Can't we just make tonight stay forever?" The innocent hint of pain in Janes voice hit Maura hard as she realised that tomorrow, things would probably end up exactly how they were before. They would go back to long, intimate stares over dead bodies, back to movie nights on the sofa where their hands shyly brushed each other's every so often. They would go back to pretending.

"I have to leave." Maura said suddenly, her voice shaking as tears burned behind her eyes. "I can't." She added as the first sob escaped her chest. She felt Jane sit up as she did, wrapping her arms around Mauras waist, holding her to the bed. "I cannot go back to pretending." Maura told her between quiet sobs. Jane sighed, pressing her lips against her best friends shoulder blades.

"We won't go back to that." Jane whispered, her lips lingering on Mauras skin. "I won't put you through that again." She added as Maura shifted, laying back down, forcing their earlier position to now be reversed. Mauras head lay on Janes chest, Janes long fingers playing with her hair softly. "Please don't leave me." Jane sighed; panic rising in her chest at the thought of Maura walking out on her.

"I've waited three years for this moment." Maura whispered, turning her head so she could look Jane in the eye. "I wouldn't leave you now." Maura pursed her lips, earning a slow nod from her best friend.

"I've never been so scared in all my life." Jane admitted, looking down at her hands as she spoke. Maura didn't say anything, choosing to slide closer and rest her head on Janes chest instead, hoping her actions said more than any words ever could. "Thank you." Jane whispered, pressing a feather light kiss to the honey blonde hair before her.


End file.
